In retrospect, this wasn't the best drink to kick off my night with.
After that my friend and I parted ways and I started walking home. Of course, I decided to take the route that took me by a different bar so I stopped in and pounded down about $30 more in drinks. That is only an educated guess though, as I know I had about $60 in my wallet and was down to $30 when I checked the next morning. Maybe I left a $20 tip, who knows.
Bars should require customers to pass this test before being allowed to order jagerbombs.
After that I started walking home for real. Unfortunately I took a roundabout route that involved climbing the fire escape of a three story building. Understandably, this perturbed the residents of the building on this chilly Wednesday night, who called the police. I was brought down from the roof of the building by police and taken to jail.
Hopefully not like this.
I blew a .23 on my breathalyzer in the booking room, which is almost three times the legal limit to drive. All of my belongings were searched, as is routine in any arrest, and my watch, shoes, and everything else were taken and placed into a locker. I was placed in a holding cell for the night, which was about 10 paces wide and 10 paces long. It had a metal bench there which was not wide enough for a man of my frame to lie down on, necessitating lying on the floor to try and sleep.
As that wasn't proving successful, I got my prison workout routine going by doing several hundred jumping jacks, pushups, and situps. I also gave a long speech to the camera in the cell about the conditions leading to American intervention in Vietnam. While I am certainly not going to compare the experience of a night in a holding cell in a city police department to anything like being in an actual jail or prison, it was certainly extremely boring. The cell did not have a clock or view to the outside and the light was kept on, so the actual time was a complete unknown. You get concerned that maybe you have been forgotten about and will be left there until you starve to death. An additional problem for me was that I sort of came to awareness in the jail cell from my drunken stupor so I didn't really know how I had gotten there. As I had been reading extensively about the Soviet Union lately I was first under the impression that I had been placed in a Soviet prison. I did not have a particularly restful night.
A detective came by in the morning to interview me about my conduct on the previous night. I did not have much information to offer, as I did not remember a thing after leaving the second bar. The only reason I know that I was clambering around on the roof of a three-story building was that he told me about it. He said that I would likely be charged with disorderly conduct and/or prowling, which is a subset of loitering statutes. I was released at 1 PM when my BAC was back down to normal.
It took about a month to receive any charges in the mail. When they finally came I needed to procure a lawyer, which cost me about $2000 to cover all of the pre-trial work. As of yet, I do not know if this will go to trial or not, but I will likely end up plea bargaining as I don't really have a great defense. This could result in me paying additional fines and court costs as well. Added up to my bar tab, broken watch, damaged library book, ripped pants, and damaged wallet, this night will probably cost me around $2500-3000.
That's enough cash to buy 25-30 times the alcohol in this picture.
Fortunately, I have been a diligent saver throughout my college career so I can afford to pay that up front without having to give up eating. Do you have that much cash lying around? I also do not know if this will affect my standing at the new job I have lined up in a couple months, as I may have to do probation or disclose this conviction to my work. And that's just the cost of a fairly minor charge of disorderly conduct. More serious drunken mistakes, such as getting into a fight or driving under the influence will likely end up costing thousands more.
So, with that said, here is my advice to avoid getting into these sorts of situations.
1. Do not get trashed if you are not planning to spend the night at that location.
If you aren't able to just pass out where you are drinking, you are placing yourself in danger. I figured I would be able to walk home without any problems after going out and drinking and instead I ended up on top of a building. You cannot predict what you will do when all of your inhibitions are disabled by alcohol. Don't take the risk of getting blackout drunk.
Do not drink heavily if you are planning on driving home.
This should be obvious, but I always see a couple idiots who parked next to the bar get pulled over right after they came out plastered at bar close. In the best case scenario, a DUI will cost you several thousand dollars in legal fees and be a blotch on your record for years to come. And that's assuming you don't hit another car, ram a tree, or kill a pedestrian.
You do not want to have the wrong answer to this question.
3. Avoid getting trashed altogether.
Some good ways to manage this are to get water or a non-alcoholic beverage before you start buying beers, shots, or mixed drinks. It also can be helpful to alternative between alcoholic drinks and non-alcoholic drinks. Order a water with each of your drinks, it will help you stay hydrated. If you are thirsty you are likely to guzzle alcoholic drinks down rapidly and that doesn't put you in a great situation to refuse the bartender when they ask if you want another. It's also important to remember that the liver metabolizes about .8-1 drinks per hour. If you pound down four shots that's going to take about four hours to be out of your system. Those extra drinks waiting aren't waiting idly, they're playing with your higher brain functions. Don't add multiple drinks to your liver's queue when you're already buzzed or on the lower end of drunk. They're going to take a long time to get out of there and you are going to end up with a blackout.
4. Don't drink heavily with people you don't know well or trust. Even more importantly, don't drink heavily alone.
One saving grace for an intoxicated individual is to have a good friend or friends who ensure that they don't get into a fight with a hostile bicycle rack on the long stumble home. If you are by yourself, you don't have this protection and are more likely to wander into trouble.
It can potentially be even worse to be with people you don't know well. If they have no hostile intentions toward you, they will not be familiar with your drinking habits so they might believe you when you mumble that you can find your way home. They may also leave you behind if they find your behavior inappropriate or just don't care enough about you to help you. If they are opportunistic individuals, they may take advantage of you while you are inebriated. Either way, you don't want to be in this situation.
Conclusion
I would be a hypocrite to claim that you should never get intoxicated. Most people will do it at least once. But it is important to choose safe times to get trashed; if you don't it can be one of the most expensive mistakes you will ever make.
No comments:
Post a Comment